Sir Damien's Anxiety Is Not Kind To Anyone

For the longest time Damien had been scared what Rilla would think of him if she found out that he was in love with someone else. A monster no less.

And then she found out. And against all odds, it had been fine. She actually liked the monster as well.

She liked the monster as well, and the monster liked her, and maybe this was worse.

Or was it better?

The three of them had been staying at the keep for a day now, and Rilla and Lord Arum had vanished into the greenhouse lost in a discussion about plants and magic, and they hadn’t spared Damien another glance.

And… that was fine, wasn’t it? They were happy. That’s what was important. And he… He loved both of them, but obviously they were just fine without him. Otherwise they would have invited him, right? But why would they, he knew nothing of plants or magic anyway.

There was nothing he could contribute, they were better off without him.

But should he just leave without telling them? Would they even remember that they’d left him out here? He didn’t want to barge in and disturb them. But just leaving would be so terribly rude. Oh, what to do.

He sat down by the base of a tree, eyes closed and concentrating on a prayer to Saint Damien so much that he completely missed the footsteps coming towards him.

“Damien?”

That did it to take him out of his reverie.

He stood up in one fluid motion. “Rilla! Lord Arum!”

The lizard had followed a few paces behind, but caught up when Rilla stopped in front of Damien. “What are you doing out here all alone, Honeysuckle?”

“Uh, um...” Oh, he should have left after all!

“Yeah, you could have come join us.”

She’s just saying that to be polite. “I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“Impose? Damien! You know how I can get when I’m talking about science, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you there!”

Or was she just saying that? Did it matter?

They had been well on their way to get married, but now- Or… had they even? Rilla had never said when she was going to marry him. And now that she was in love...

“I must speak my heart!”

Lord Arum looked like he wanted to say something, but Damien pressed on before either of them could get a word in, addressing Rilla.

“I used to be scared of what you’d think if you ever found out about my feelings for Lord Arum, but there was no reason for that, as you feel the same for him. And- it seems he is quite fond of you as well.”

“Damien?”

“I will not delude myself any longer. Clearly you two have found happiness with each other.”

“Damien!”

“I will not stand in the way of your- your love, and as such I feel that I should take my leave immedia-”

“Honeysuckle!” That nickname made Damien snap out of it. That or the claws that were gently digging into his shoulder now.

“I- W-what?”

“Damien!” Rilla grabbed his face to turn him towards her, and dragged him into a kiss.

Damien clung onto her like a drowning man who was almost okay with drowning and was really more concerned about not accidentally dragging someone else down with him.

Rilla pulled away after a few seconds, but didn’t let go of his face just yet. “We don’t want you to go! We... I love you.”

“You… do? But...” Damien glanced over to Lord Arum.

Lord Arum still hadn’t let go. He spun Damien around to face him, and squeezed his shoulder.

“Yes, well, I-” Lizards, being coldblooded, couldn’t blush. If that weren’t the case, Lord Arum would be red as a beet right now, but as it was, he was just avoiding both their gazes and rubbing his neck and one of his arms, and playing with the hem of his cloak.

He closed his eyes and ducked down to nuzzle the top of his snout against Damien’s jaw. “I am... also rather fond of you. Takatakatakataka.”

“I-”

They- they couldn’t just be saying that. Or could they?

“I-”

“Damien.” Rilla pulled him into a hug, soothing hands running through his hair and along his back. 

Lord Arum wrapped his arms around both of them, resting his chin on the top of Damien’s head. “We want you to join us, Honeysuckle.” 

Damien could feel something akin to a purr from Lord Arum’s throat.

He closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh straight from his soul.

Rilla’s fingers stilled in his hair. “Do you want us to sing to you?”

Damien dropped his face into Lord Arum’s shoulder. “Always… Wait. Us?”

~Meet me by the river~, ” Rilla began.

Damien was pleasantly surprised when Lord Arum joined in. ~Where the elderberries grow~

He melted into the embrace, their calm voices filling him with tranquility.

He could do this.

They wanted- Or did they? Yes. They did. They wanted him to stay.

He could do this.

But...

~When stars are silver, no one has to know~

He slowly started to pull away and both of his- his… what were they even to him? - Both of them let go, still lingering close.

“How does this work?”

Rilla faltered, unsure for a moment, but Lord Arum stepped in. “It will work exactly the way we make it work.”

“Yeah,” Rilla agreed. “Yeah, we’ll figure it out. We’re scientists! Figuring stuff out is half of what we do!” She smiled up at Lord Arum and pressed a kiss to his jaw, and his frill gave an involuntary twitch. “We’ll figure out how to properly kiss Arum, and we’ll figure out how we can all kiss each other without getting jealous. For example. Hypothesis: Everyone will be happier if kisses are distributed equally. Test one.” She pressed another kiss to Damien’s jaw this time. “So? What are the results.”

“Uh- Wh-”

“This was hardly a complete test yet,” Lord Arum interrupted.

“How do you mean?”

“We’ve not actually shared the same amount of kisses. But I shall rectify that, like so.” Lord Arum pressed the front of his snout to Rilla’s cheek. “I- Well, that’s… not quite…” He hung his head, in what Damien thought might be embarrassment, before continuing the motion to nuzzle the top of his snout against Rilla’s jaw, like he’d done with Damien before.

He stepped back and looked at Damien encouragingly, tapping Damien’s thigh with his tail. “Well? The lady said ‘equal distribution’.”

“Uh, right.”

Damien, who was not a coldblooded lizard, felt heat creep into his face, as he leaned in to kiss Rilla’s cheek.

He wasn’t quite sure why his face was heating up. This was his fiancée he was kissing, and it was hardly the first time. But- there was something about feeling Lord Arum’s eyes on him that made him feel hot all over.

Lord Arum cleared his throat. “I’d say the results were quite satisfying.”

“Indeed,” Rilla said. “Although we will have to run some additional test later. For now let’s get back to the plants?”

“Right. Come now, Honeysuckle. We have some experiments we left unattended.” Two of Lord Arum’s arms snaked around Damien’s back and gently pushed him along towards the greenhouse.


 

The space was cramped and they were in constant physical contact - although that might not just have been because of the limited space -, Rilla’s shoulder brushing against Damien’s as she was moving around the greenhouse, and one of Lord Arum’s hands on Damien’s arms and back to maneuver him to the places where he had the best view of their experiments.

They sounded so excited when explaining things to him that he almost felt like he was supposed to be there.

And under the joint tutelage of his two lovers, he learnt to see the world in ways he never had before.

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