“E- Thain! So good to see you again! I missed you!”

Oh no.

Essek quickly swallowed his mouthful of wine, and feigned surprise at Jester’s approach, as if he hadn’t kept his eye on the Nein the entire evening.

Surely she hadn’t seen through his disguise?

No, a quick look at his hands confirmed that the illusion was still active, and while maybe he hadn’t been the most convincing back at the docks, she would have no reason to suspect Essek of all people. Surely.

No, this was just Jester being Jester and befriending anything and anyone that didn’t get away quickly enough.

Which meant that it now was time for Essek to be Dezran Thain, who didn’t have too big of a stake in current goings on, and who didn’t have a reason to be hyper aware of this random group of adventurers.

“Hm? Ah, yes… uhm… from the Mighty Nein, yes? But we only met a couple hours ago?”

“Oh, yeah, I guess. But a couple hours is enough to miss someone, don’tcha think?”

“I suppose…” Maybe if he gave short enough answers she would go away?

Oh, who was he kidding?

She pulled up a chair and sat down with their knees almost touching. “You know who I wish was here though?”

He would be here for a while. “Hm?” But short answers still saved him from having to come up with lies.

She leaned in, with her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands. “Our friend Essek!”

That. Was a truly unfortunate turn of events.

But at least it meant she didn’t suspect him.

“I… don’t think I’m familiar?”

Why did it have to be Jester of all people? Why did he have to feel this need to be gentle with her? He could have just been callous. He could have said that he didn’t care, and left. 

But no. 

It had to be Jester.

“He’s great! He’s, like, a really powerful wizard! And I think he’s, like, a spymaster or something? I don’t know, actually. He’s never explained that. I guess I’ll have to ask him the next time I see him. What do you think a shadowhand does?”

“Uhm… Well…” Actually that one was hard to explain, so it didn’t take too much acting talent to flounder over the answer.

“He’s really cool though!” Jester went on. “He floats everywhere! And he’s super nice, too! He’s been helping us teleport around, even though Fjord’s been a bit of an asshole that one time, but Essek still helped us out, because he’s cool like that and I think he loves us? He’s been teaching Caleb some magic too, so Caleb’s been doing all kinds of cool magic recently!”

“Caleb?” 

Wait, why did he ask that? He should leave now, not elongate the conversation by asking questions.

“Yeah! He’s over there!” She pointed off to the side of the room, before giving a wave in the same direction. “Hi, Caleb!”

“Hallo!”

Essek glanced over to where Caleb had been standing for the last twenty minutes - because of course Essek had been keeping tabs - and saw the zemnian wizard give a quick little wave back in their direction.

Right, back in character, he’d never talked to the man before. “Ah.”

“Ooh, I wonder if he could teach Caleb how to teleport as well, then we wouldn’t have to ask Essek for favors all the time!”

Why hadn’t Essek thought of that? He’d have to keep that one in mind, in the event that it would come up again.

“Although, honestly, for the longest time that was the only reason why we were hanging out with Essek at all, and I do like sending him messages all the time! I don’t think he liked us or my messages very much at the beginning, but that’s okay, because I know that he likes us so much now!”

She wasn’t wrong, and that was part of why this was so hard. He hadn’t cared much for anyone, but especially not for the people who went and undid all his hard work . But he had warmed up to them, and now he did like them… so much. 

He almost wished they hadn’t gotten involved, so they wouldn’t be in harm’s way now. Except for that very big and very selfish part of his heart that was so glad that he now had them in his life and wouldn’t give them up for the world.

Of course, he couldn’t tell her any of that.

“Ah, yes, that…”

“And we love him a lot, too, of course!” 

Oh.

That had been both unexpected and painful. 

He bit the inside of his cheek to keep tears from welling up.

They couldn’t know. There was absolutely no way he was ever going to let them know what he had done. Because if they knew then there would be absolutely no way they would still… love him.

“He’s always been so nice to us! He got us a house, you know! Well, his family did, but he was the one who showed it to us, so we kinda just associate that with him. But he’s really lovely though, and we love him so much!”

Essek couldn’t even think of a mumbled answer, because he was busy choking down his emotions, so he took a sip of wine, to hide his lack of a reaction.

“He’s hot, too,” Jester added as an afterthought.

Essek almost choked on the wine.

“Lord Thain! Are you okay?!”

“Yes, yes, I’m fine.” He coughed a bit more until he stopped being in immediate danger of drowning. 

He needed to get out of this situation. And quick.

But how?

“Ah… this… friend of yours? He sounds like… a good person?”

Well, that wasn’t the way.

“Weeell… Yes and no…” She leaned in conspiratorially and quietly whispered in his ear. “Actually we recently discovered that he is a traitor!”

Oh.

“Oh.”

Oh no.

“Yes!” She glanced over her shoulders and continued even more quietly, “He traded away some sacred artifacts.”

Oh shit.

“Oh my! How- how have you come across this information? Have you- uhm- have you informed the appropriate authorities?”

She leaned back and smiled at him, and that was a weird thing to do, right? “We’re not gonna rat out our friend! What do you take us for?!”

Did she- Oh fuck, she knew. Why else would she be telling a random stranger who just so happened to be Essek in disguise? This entire conversation made no sense if she didn’t know-

No, no. He had to assume she didn’t know. And if she had a hunch, then he had to do his damnedest to make sure he didn’t confirm it.

“And you’re telling me? Why?” It wasn’t possible that they knew. Right? He was the shadowhand, for fuck’s sake! Not getting caught was his entire shtick!

Jester winked at him playfully. “How do you think we found out?”

“Ah.” So they did know.

Unless they weren’t entirely sure and she was fishing for a reaction.

“I- And what does that mean exactly?” 

Why was it so hard to lie to this little tiefling? If it had been anyone else, he would have been fine-

And, well… Okay, no, that was a lie. Caduceus was too perceptive for his own good, Caleb had spent enough time with him to recognize his tells, Beau… was Beau, and the rest of them… He considered them his friends, and as he had only recently learned, it didn’t feel good to lie to friends.

“Frumpkin was on the boat, watching, when you talked to Ludinus, and Caduceus did some magic to Beau that lets her see through illusions. Did you know that that guy over there is actually a dragonborn!?”

“I- can’t say I did. Uhm…” She hadn’t said it outright. There was still room for doubt. She could still be lying. 

He needed to get out before he gave himself away. “I need to-”

“Essek,” she whispered, and took one of his hands in hers. “We know. We need to talk about this. We’re not trying to get you into trouble or anything! We want to help! Well… we probably want to help. Kinda depends on how evil your motives were, I guess. Although we did some pretty messed up stuff as well…” She trailed off, looking off into space with a furrowed brow.

“If…” There was no hiding it, was there? And if they were his friends… She said they wouldn’t sell him out. He trusted them. He needed to trust them. “If you knew then why did you say all of that?”

“I needed you to know that you’re still our friend, and that we still love you, and that we’re gonna help you with this! Unless if your goal is to destroy the world or unleash the Chained Oblivion or something like that. In that case we’d have to stop you, probably.” 

She took another moment to screw up her face and think. “Also I was hoping that you’d reveal yourself. Because, you know, I was saying how great you are and how much we love you - which is all true by the way! I need you to know that! - and then you’d be all, like, overcome with guilt and also appreciation for your friends, so you’d cave in and just tell us what you did, and ask us for help, because we’re such cool friends!” 

She stopped again, and pouted. “That didn’t happen, of course, but it could have! And it’s definitely better than Nott’s- I mean, Veth’s plan of just poisoning you!”

That sounded concerning. Maybe he should have a talk with Nott, or, apparently Veth now. Or better yet, maybe he should stay as far away from her as possible. Both options seemed reasonable right now.

“I- yes, I do appreciate that you didn’t go with that plan. But I- You want to help me? With this?”

“Yes!”

“You’re aware of what I did, yes?”

Jester looked at him with open and honest eyes. “You stole two beacons and started the war.”

Well, if you put it like that…

“And you’re okay with that?”

She shot him a subdued smile and squeezed the hand that she was still holding.“What you’ve done is in the past, and can’t be changed now, right? All we can do now is try to make it better! And handing you over to the Dynasty for punishment isn’t going to actually stop the war or bring back the people that died in it! Don’t get me wrong, there'll probably be consequences, and I don’t think all of the others still trust you right now. But we will help you fix this!”

“That- yes.” He bowed his head. “Thank you.”

Jester took that opportunity to scoot closer and press her lips to his forehead. “You’re part of this family now. Welcome to the Mighty Nein.”