A stranger came by today. A Lord Vasili von Holtz.
Apparently he had some business with the mayor on behalf of Lord Strahd.
He was… weird.
He seemed dour and uncomfortable, up until he saw me, which is when his entire demeanour shifted.
It was a busy night, so I mostly avoided him, and he respected that I had work to do.
Later, past midnight, when most patrons had left, he invited me over to his table.
I was a bit uncertain at first, not quite comfortable with the eagerness I felt radiating off him. But Lady Rosmarie says never to turn down anything free.
And it wasn't like he could get away with anything untoward while in Lady Rosmarie's tavern. It's not like we were alone.
He was still being weird.
Nothing inappropriate. Nothing that would justify calling for Thomas. Nothing that made me feel threatened.
He was just. Very interested in me.
It didn't feel like he was fishing for information to use against Lady Rosemarie either. That has happened once or twice before.
He seemed… almost like he knew me.
Thinking about it now, it seems possible that he knew me from before? Before I lost my memories? I was just a child back then. Lady Rosmarie guessed that I was ten, and that is the age we went with ever since. I suppose it is not entirely unheard of that you could recognize an adult you had previously only known as a child. And that you could recognize someone you hadn't seen in ten years.
Stranger things have happened.
And there was this glint of recognition, of memory, in his eyes.
He left not long before sunrise - he still wasn't the last patron to leave - but not before announcing that he would be back tomorrow, and saying that he would like to see me again.
I am not certain about this one.
The way he said that almost made it sound like he intends to court me.
He is a lot older than me. The age difference isn't unheard of, but I don't know that I am entirely comfortable with this.
But then… Lady Rosmarie has already threatened that she would only put me up until my 21st birthday, which is fast approaching. I don't know how serious she is about that, but I don't want to rely on her too long.
I worked from noon to late evening today, so I only saw Lord Vasili come into the tavern just as I was heading out.
He was disappointed at having missed the chance to talk to me.
I was rather intrigued by him, and while I was naturally cautious, I saw no reason to distrust him, so I invited him up to my room to continue last night’s conversation, warning him that he would have to make sure Lady Rosmarie would not see him follow me.
I went up to my room, expecting him to sneak up the stairs after me, but was surprised to hear him knocking on my window instead.
Nevertheless I let him in, and we sat on my bed to talk.
After a few minutes of pleasant conversation he got somewhat strange, and I had half a mind to tell him to leave.
Until he told me "Your name is Tatyana."
A rush of memories came back to me.
Except they couldn't have been mine.
Visions then?
No, not quite either.
I saw images of the castle.
The inside of the castle.
I was there with a dark haired man.
He had pulled me out of obscurity.
He was kind and generous, and I was in love with him.
"Sergei," I blurted out, the name suddenly coming to me.
"Strahd," Lord Vasili responded.
"Strahd," I echoed, without quite knowing why. It didn't sound right coming from my tongue, but I couldn't stop my mouth from moving.
And then Lord Vasili startled and looked toward the door.
A few moments later I, too, heard my mother's footsteps coming up the stairs.
I was immediately pulled out of whatever trance I'd been in, and jumped up from the bed. "You must leave! My mother cannot see you here!"
Lord Vasili looked to the door. "It is a bit too late to-"
I pushed him towards the window. "You came in through the window, you can go back out the window!"
I had already shoved him out before I quite remembered that my room is up the stairs, but he seemed to be fine, as I could vaguely make him out landing on his feet and turning back in the dark, leaving me with a promise to return before walking off into the night.
Today was a slow day, and I spent most of it thinking of my new situation. I am taking a midday break to get all my thoughts and memories on paper, lest they leave me again, never to return.
Lord Vasili- Strahd. He is really Lord Strahd. I recognize him now.
Lord Strahd hasn't returned yet, but I suspect him back by the end of my shift.
I remember everything.
Well, no. I suppose that would be hardly possible with several lifetimes worth of memories. And add to that the fact that I can only know the things that I had learned before I'd died.
But I remember Strahd, and Sergei, and a foolish young girl.
I remember dying. Quite a lot actually.
And I tend to die young.
The first time I-
No, I… I am loath to call those actions mine.
Tatyana, she was in love with Sergei, Strahd's brother. She did not realise that Strahd was infatuated with her.
But then, she wasn't used to having rich people around and might have thought that giving lavish gifts to one's brother's bride was just a thing people do.
And then Sergei died, and I- that is, Tatyana flung herself from the castle's pillarstone.
I have no memory of hitting the ground all those thousand feet below.
After that were more violent deaths. A lot of murders. Mostly by people who had been supposed to protect me.
Illness took me a few times as well. I remember one time succumbing to a random bout of fever the day after Strahd found me again.
Ah, I haven't taken that part down yet.
Strahd keeps finding me.
I keep wandering out of the mists with no memory of who I am, and usually it takes little over a year for Strahd to find me.
Randomly, it seems.
He looks surprised every time.
And then he starts to court me, all proper and gentleman like. And he tells me who I am. Who I used to be.
And he tells me stories about the time we had together.
I remember some of the stories he told me.
I also remember some of the truths.
He isn't technically lying. All those stories did actually happen.
Except for one fact.
I was with Sergei, not with Strahd.
I don't have all that many memories of Sergei.
I have only known him once for those few months, and have lived many lives since then.
He seemed rather a fool.
I do not know what this Tatyana saw in him.
A man of the cloth no less.
I guess she saw a pretty face and didn't think beyond that.
Or maybe she saw the castle she would live in if she married him.
If that is the case, I can rather sympathise with her.
-
I shall aspire to keep my true memories.
These notes could actually help me with that. I hope they will not be necessary.
They won't be necessary.
I know exactly what to do.
He might be able to influence my mind, but I do not think that he can read my thoughts.
I shall simply act as if I remember spending all those moments with him, no manipulation needed.
I mean no disrespect to Sergei's memory of course. But. Well. Sergei is dead; Has been dead for almost four centuries. And Strahd has a castle.
To be continued...